The Great Critique! #SCBWIWWA

What an awesome evening. I spent it with five other aspiring authors and the one and only Janet Lee Carey, talented published author and all-around wonderful human being.

The event is called The Great Critique, and it takes place once a year, here at the Western Washington branch of SCBWI. Each of us were given 15 minutes to have our first five pages (kindly) critiqued by all.

Here is the biggest lesson I learned about my novel:

Head-jumping = bad.

Let me explain: point of view is such a tricky thing to get right, because as authors we know everything about the plot, every character, the setting...but when writing, the point of view needs to be respected. For example: you can describe a scene from an omniscient POV, but if you start describing how one of the characters is feeling of perceiving things, then you'd better stick to that person's view of the world.

Here's an excerpt where I fell into the pitfall:

Even though Mr. Yan Olsunn was a quiet, private man, he had taken it upon himself to teach his granddaughter Nara to read, write, and chant.  Nara was going to be only five in the fall, but, come her tenth birthday, she would have to show the rest of their clan that she was a worthy custodian of their story.

[...]

Nara loved her grandpa dearly...

See it? Even though I did not specifically start by saying "I am speaking from Yan Olsunn's POV. by stating what his motivation is to teach Nara I am pretty much taking sides...only to switch mid-scene with how Nara feels about him.

This is one of those things that once you know to look for them they stick out like a sore thumb. I have my work cut-out for tomorrow!

What are your biggest pitfalls? What kinds of writerly pet-peeves get under your skin?